He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
