AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
