$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
