Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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