It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Found your dick twin last night
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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