But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
