God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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