Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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