I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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