i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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