I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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