So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My life is pants optional.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
