that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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