Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
