White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
