I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
