its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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