My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
