smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
