bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
