Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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