thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
