It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Boobs speak an international language.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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