I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
