it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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