Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
