i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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