I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
