Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
