Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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