why didn't you poke me back
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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