And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
