didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
