you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
