And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
