it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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