I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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