boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
