he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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