I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
