Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
