He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
