yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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