My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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