Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
