I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
