i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
