Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
