Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need to calm my uterus...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
