I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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